Agreene's Thoughts

Where Real Writing Exists

What Lies Beneath The Lies

“I was out with a friend no one special.” Lie number one. “You can trust me, I wouldn’t lie to you.” Lie number two. ” You are the only one I want.” RED FLAG NEON LIGHTS BELLS RINGING! Lie number three. The list can go on and on with number of lies that men and women tell each other. I would be lying to you if I said I never told a lie or let alone lied in the last seventy-two hours. What I can’t understand is why? Why must we cover up the truth with a lie no matter how big or small? I try my hardest not to lie but sometimes a little “white lie” slips out of my mouth depending on the person. What is funny though I can honestly say I havent lie to my friends. I lied to my parents, who hasn’t but my friends I don’t. It would sit well with me for some odd reason. In relationships where you definitely shouldnt lie is where the most lies are found. What I can’t understand is what lies beneath the lies? When you decided to be committed to one person whether it is a regular relationship or a marriage, honesty is the best policy no matter if it hurts ones feelings. I don’t know about anyone else but the worse thing to do to me is be in an intimate relationship with me and lie to me. What is even worse than just lying to me? Getting caught in a lie! Not only did you attempt to lie to me but now you are a bad liar! My mom used to say to me when I was little, “If you are going to lie be a good liar.” I didn’t understand at first but as I got older, I get it. At the end of the day the art of lying will still exist and people will still lie. The real questions are: what lies will you get over, how many lies can you take and which lies you rather stay a lie?

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A Picture… Is It Really A Thousand Words?

It has been said that,” A picture is a thousand words.” I started to think though is it really? Sometimes the pictures we put up for the world to see doesn’t necessarily speak the right message. We think that we are displaying something innocently, but sometimes we can either end up offending others or hurting ourselves. What do you we do then? Do we stop expressing ourselves in this fashion because it wont be acceptable to others? I am constantly plagued with these questions when I take my own pictures of myself, my friends or when I go out. These pictures can be copied somewhere and I wouldn’t know it. They can come back to haunt me negatively depending where I am in my future. People have to sometimes be cautious how they want to be portrayed to the world. It is not to say that you start caring what others think but it is to protect yourself from future repercussions. You would hate to have worked so hard for something in real life to have it messed up from something from your social network life. think about it.

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Live For You…

People don’t realize sometimes you have to be a little selfish. It took me a long time to realize that. I used to be the best doormat you could find. In elementary I fought so hard to have friends. Looking back I shouldnt have. I wasnt spoiled, but my mom made sure I had. Didnt realize that “having” meant that I was also going to “have” jealously. Some was jealous and some was the worse of them all, my “friends”. I bought lunch everyday (didn’t know exactly the contents of the school lunch) and the delicious sandwich I used to buy for me was always split in half by one of my so call friends. I went through this using behavior all the way up until the sixth grade. Once I got to junior high school, I said enough is enough. I changed my attitude, my clothes and how I wanted people to treat me. My true friends stuck around when I said no. It didn’t make me a bad person and to be a little selfish actually lifted the weight off my chest and I was able to breathe. Sometimes even as an adult, I get caught in my old doormat ways but then I sit back and look in the mirror and say, ” You have to live for you.”

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Teenage Years vs Adult Years

I had a great time this past weekend with one of my close friends/little sister. I met up with her late after she got out of work and the same day I worked earlier. We laughed, ate and drunk and acted silly. We went our separate ways her to Brooklyn and me back to Manhattan. As I walked home after getting off the train, I realized I was alone and it was 1:45 in the morning.That’s when I thought to myself, I am an adult. Then I  couldn’t help comparing my adult years vs my teenage years. I asked myself why does it seem like my adult years are much more like my teenage years than the other away around? When we are teenagers, we think those are our party years but in reality they aren’t. We can’t drink or smoke at least not legally. Curfews are set and if you live in a city night like New York and your curfew is 11:00 pm sharp, then you missing the whole party life. Then you can’t even get into the best clubs are lounges because you are underage. As I start to compare my teenage years versus my adult years, I cant help but smile to myself and say aloud,” My adult years are awesome!” Yeah so I had to start paying bills and work jobs I could care less about and deal with adult responsibility but would I trade being an adult to be a teenager again? Nope. I love my independence and freedom. Come and go as I please and don’t answer nobody but myself. I loved being a teenager but being an adult with a plan is much more rewarding than being a child without a clue as to where I am going.

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What Is Your Expiration Date?

Lets face it ladies, women have a harder time getting a man to commit more than the other way around. Some women(I give credit to) will stay with a man faithfully until he decides that he wants to fully commit to her. I started to ask myself, the women that stay with these “big kids” do they ever give themselves an expiration date when enough is enough? Men feel as if they are missing out on something better if they commit to one woman. Its natures beast for them to wander and some never settle down. Am I saying that men are the only guilty party when it comes to committment phobia? Absolutely not, but women natures beast typically is to be a nurturer and most our looking for the security and/or companionship. It seems to me that some women just settle for the fact that maybe the person they are with are as good as it gets. Some women used the crutch, ” At least he doesn’t beat me,” or ” He always comes right back to me after he is out doing him,” or my favorite “He takes care of home so I don’t care what he does when he is not around me.” Women WAKE UP! Stop settling for these men that isn’t giving you your full worth. If you have standards don’t start crossing them off the list because you are scared of being alone. If the man you are with is not doing what he should be doing to make you happy, then just like food has it he should have an expiration date. When his time is up don’t try to salvage the “mold that grew on the bread” by cutting it off. You have to throw it away and shop for some more. Living alone, being happy and not taking advantage of is far better than being in a relationship that is way past its “date”.

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So Many Thoughts…

Everyday I am faced with so many thoughts and so many decisions. We are always trying to accomplish so much in a 24 hours span. It may seem like a lot of time but in reality, it isn’t. We spend most of the time relaxing, working, eating, sleeping and running errands. When we are not doing something that we have to do, when it is time to do something we want to do we are tired or just plain old lazy. Why is it that we complain about the time we don’t have but when we get it we waste it? Even as tired as I am right now, I forced myself to get up with sleepy eyes to totally commit myself to something I enjoy. I love writing, the art of being creative through words. Sometimes those words happen to fade away to that tick called writers block. I discovered my writers block is contributed to the things in my life that I don’t enjoy doing but I have to do until I am a well known and well sought out writer. Sometimes my thoughts are so jumbled that my writing fights to be seen. Life isn’t meant to be easy or for you to be able to just give up everything and spend the needed time doing what you love. I just cant help but wonder though how much interesting life would be if everyone was spending less time on work and more on play.

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Me+You=Happiness?

For the first time in my life, I actually ventured into the world of dating. I enjoy my time with my new beau, everything is great but the only thing is we are not together officially. I started to have agreenethought moment and ask questions to myself. Why is that everything is only going right between two people when they are not totally committed? Is being in a real relationship with a title is whats killing the silent committment between two people? This day in age relationships are harder to understand more than hieroglyphics. Some teenagers think they know the gender they are interested in when in reality it’s just a phase. Some people don’t figure out what they want until it’s too late. Why risk losing something so good for a shooting star that you might not catch? Yes it is a possibility you might find someone better than your current,but no one would give you a better feeling from your wish checklist than the one staring deep into your eyes. I often wonder why so many men are so afraid to settle down. No one wants to be alone and men are the just on the same level as women with wanting one person in their life to hold. I never understood men. They know they have something good but they end up letting it go for something so so. If you going to let go of good it better be for great. I guess that is the difference between men and women, men realize great, late and women aim to have the best, soon.

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Death Is To Birth As Loss Is To Gain?

They say for every death there is a birth. The funny thing about sayings is that they are more symbolic than literal.There wasnt any births when my grandmothers died nor when some of my dear friends that passed on. It was more for each death, there was a chance for people to become born into something different. To grow from their deaths and to learn. To cherish those that move on and to never take for granted the ones that are still here. I look at death as a moment of reflection. I had my usual agreenethought moment when I woke up this morning and I started to think, for every loss does it means you also gain? Today marked the one year anniversary of me losing a high school friend and not a day goes by that he doesn’t cross my mind. Then I started to think about this time last year and I thought from his death what did I gain? It hit me, friends that I loss contact temporarily was now bought back into my life and bonds was formed that are now stronger than ever. Another example is this year when I loss my grandmother. As painful as it was to lose my grandmother, I had to look at all the good that came from it. I was now well aware that some of the members of my family are snakes, I grown closer to my sister, brother and especially father and I was able to rest at ease that she is no longer suffering. What I’ve gained most from her death was her wisdom. It may have seem like I wasnt listening but I soaked up all the knowledge I could to make me a stronger and wiser person. No one wants to lose their love ones but you will never go in for the rest of your life losing. Sometimes you have a chance at a win.

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Tick Tock You’re On My Clock

It was one point in my life where I wanted to settle down with the guy I was with and pop out at least two kids. Things didn’t work out and we are no longer together. Now my current beau who would be a prime candidate to settle down with is adamant about not having kids right now or settling down right now. That made me wonder why. He is 32 and he is not getting any younger and is still in search of “what else could be possibly be out there”. Not to toot my own horn but when I heard his laundry list of what he wants in a woman I was exactly what he wants. I am myself not getting any younger either and it’s not to say I want to have a baby tomorrow either. What I am saying though is I am noticing a lot of men falling into this new selfish phase without considering their mates feelings on the subject. I started to have agreenethought moment and asked myself,”Why are men dictating when we can have a baby when they aren’t the ones who are carrying it?” Yes it does take two to have a baby, but what men doesn’t consider is they can probably have babies without shooting blanks all the way into their 50’s. While women on the other hand chances decreases starting in their late 20’s early 30’s. Watching my guilty pleasure yesterday, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I cried a little at the constant effort Khloe is going through to have children with her husband. Khloe one of the stable and level-headed of the bunch who is actually still married to her husband. I understand the man is deemed as the provider but why do women have to miss out on their chance to produce because a man doesn’t want to lose his freedom time and money? I guess that’s why more and more women are taking control of their own lives and going to the sperm bank. At least that “nut” doesn’t have to worry about losing his time, money or freedom.

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Hot Single Cold Cuddling

I look around at most of my friends and if I had to break it down in percentage, I would say that 70% of my friends are single. Now while this isn’t something they should be ashamed of with the cuddling season rapidly approaching, I couldn’t help having agreenethought moment and ask myself two questions. Why do we have so many single people with the world full of some many different people and why does it always come to a point where relationships only form when it starts to turn cold? I have great girl friends regardless of it sounding biased, they just cant quite find the right mate. Some would ask me, “You ever thought maybe it was them?” Could be. But no one is perfect and these ladies have been single for a while. Some by choice and some not. They stay without any action for 3/4 of the year and then BOOM! It turns cold and their phone is lighting up like the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Do men normally crave the “mother” in the winter and the woman in the summer? That is all it boils down to. Men looking for someone who have the motherly traits and the bonus of having sex. When will people realize you can have that luxury all year round. Or is it that one craves variety in different seasons? I am still going to be at a loss with the answer to why people only becoming one in the winter. Different answers and opinions to this mystery. I do know one thing, if my special someone is with me in the heat then I know he will be with me in the cold.

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